I know but still ...

Sometimes (actually most times) I feel there is so much in this world to do than to sit in a company and be at the mercy of somebody's decision. I mean, there is so much one can do in every damn field, then why do most of us end up sitting in an office, doing work that does not interest, end up feeling unrecognized for their work and above all don't have any say in the decisions made by the management. We know for sure that we can put our talents to better use in a place which demands so much public attention for improvment, yet we settle for a heavy pay check that gives us all the materialistic pleasures than satisfaction.

I have come across so many so many ideas recently that I wonder why I haven't been able to think about them. Maternova -- bringing maternal and child care by connection health workers, health facilities and innovation in that space. Imagine how useful a handheld ultrasound would be for those rural women who can't afford to travel to the hospital which has the equipment. They have come up with a motor bike ambulance. Another intelligent idea I came across was Sasix - It is a social investment exchange. They have given a truly different shade to the concept of 'donation'. All social development projects are listed out here and people can invest in it like buying shares. They get regular updates (say quarterly) on how the projects are going on. This helps in funding the project for the beneficiary, at same time gives a kind of realistic view to the share holder on how the money is being used and makes the beneficiary accountable for the change they are trying to bring in society.

These aren't any rocket launching ideas, but they are on their way to become path breaking ideas. I am sure they are gonna make a big positive impact on the society. If we carefully look at our society, almost every domain - health, transport, environment, people, education, care, family, agriculture, crafts, tradition, tourism and countless other things are looking for ideas which could greatly benefit. It is not that we don't know -- we know and we still IGNORE.

I started out writing as "I" and ended up as "We". Let me get back to I. I know every time my project at work gets put on hold, I get to think it is His way of telling me that 'Aarthi, why don't you go out and try your ideas. It will be of help to the people.' I know it will be helpful, but I am scared to dirty my hands, am shit scared to quit my job and try. Now I have the time, but the whole project put on hold at work only makes me dejected, disappointed, frustrated and disoriented in life. I know I have to get past this and use this time to try out my ideas. I know.. I want to... I will...

The Mayonnaise Jar

I was reading a forward some time back and liked it way it explained the priorities of life. Here it is for you to read.

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a
unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions -
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life
would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Netru illada matram ennadu?

All long when she wanted to breathe, her neck was almost strangled. Now when she is about to be let free, there is so much breathlessness in her.

Though she sees the fresh air gushing in front about to enter her nostrils, there is this weird feeling. Her heart seems to have suddenly stopped craving for the breath.

She has got used to the absence of freshness that makes her heart feel she can do away with it in the coming days.
The mind sends signals to her heart asking it not to sink in the sea of comfort where she has been sailing so long. It tells her to get out of it and inhale the fresh air - For all the struggle was just for that!!!

...Idu daan Vaazhkai enbada??

For those of you don't understand tamil the title of the post meant 'What's the change that was not there yesterday?' and the last line meant 'Is this what life is about?'

Time is flying

Time is flying as fast as it can and I am trying to catch up with every moment. So many things to do, so much time and so much much laziness too ...

I have been planning to write a post since long time and I don't need to complete the sentence now... Just got too many things on top of my mind that they evaporate quickly in the heat of the summer making me oblivious to them till they condense and pour as heavy showers in the night when I am too tired to move my limbs to do anything about them.

I am falling in love with Bangalore again and again for its wonderful weather. How I wish the rains followed the GST (Gelf Standard Time) (thanks to Chandu for coining GST, I really liked it) so that it rains after we get back home from work. It is such a mess to drive in the rain when the roads are flooded with water and the car guy next to you splashes it on your not-so-often-washed bike. Anyways, its much much better than the scorching heat that does not let you sleep in the night. Okay!! I know I know...I can hear you... Bangalore heat is not heat at all... God salute to those who bare the heat in places like Kothagudem. For all I realize that I have withstood worser temperatures on both sides of the scale in Pilani. Times when we had to cover the entire face just leaving 2 holes for the eyes to see the road.. times when we were blinded by fog and could not see what's ahead ..Yep, those were times of the past. Now, I am used to the chill breeze of Bengalooru and my body screams to the scroching heat.

Oops.. from where to where.. I wanted to write about something else and ended up analyzing my reactions to the heat and the rain. This is exactly what happens to me, I start with something and end up some where else... Anyways, coming to the point (what's the point??)... Yea!! My list of ever-to-be done things...

1. Write a post which I am doing
2. Write a post on RunForAshwini blog specifying more details on sponsoring a child.
Hey!! If you have not seen this blog, please go and check it out.
I am planning (and planning) to write a separate post to cover this topic.
3. Start reading the book of this month for my OT challenge.
With all enthu I bought the book 'Train to Pakistan' spending close to half a grand (huh!!!) and have not gotten my hands over it yet!! Days are running.. got only 5 more days in this month...
BTW, I have found the book for the next month - 'Love in the Times of Cholera'. Thanks to Goli for suggesting that.
4. Next month is going to be fun with uncle and aunty. It would be good if Shravs n Bunny join. That means, pv n me gotto finalize a place for the trip. If it is damn diffi for "us" to find a place for dinner (the other day we drove from HalliMane in Malleswaram to Bobs in Jeevan Bhima Nagar not being able to find even one suitable place for dinner - Why?? That needs the space of a post for itself.. so I will write about it sometime later. We finally ended up having puchka's, sandwich and juice for dinner), I don't need to say about the rest. But, we shal together come to some conclusion atleast the day before the travel... So no worries.
5. Put clothes for wash - Hurrah!!! I did that, but one more round pending.. Pv says its my favorite job.
6. Have to buy Shabo's wedding gift - She got married Nov last year and I am yet to gift her.
7. Mom is coming tomorrow which means I gotto clean the house and make it look neat atleast on the first glance. It is impossible for me to achieve her cleanliness goals, still gotto do something.
8. Pin-up board - this was part of my new year resolution that I would list down the places I have visited in the year and the ones I want to visit on the pin-up board. Neither did the visiting happen nor did the pin-up board stay up :-) Pv n me put all our efforts n knowledge of physics, chemistry, math and bio too to fix it on the wall and let it stay but the board was too adamant and always want to fall. This time, its gonna be a hang-or-throw situation. If its not gonna work this time, I am gonna throw it off and buy a ready made pin-up board :-)

By now, I realize that the rest of the things have already evaporated and will come back as part of the evening showers. I shall complete these now.

If you are still reading, my thanks to you. In all probability, you might have seen some part of you in the above lines, I am happy to see you too sailing in the same sea if not the same boat :-)

All in all, this week seems to be a pretty satisfying one, I completed my own 'windows task manager' like application @ work, did somethings towards a change in project, managed the house when mom was not there (my huge success item.. well!! 1 more day to go), had been a good girl as always. Full Stop, no comments expected on the last line.

How terrorizing is a terror attack?

With the wake of the recent terror attacks in Mumbai, life has changed for most of us. We sit glued to the tv not watching movies or mega serials but tracking the latest updates on the investigations and closely looking out for new terror alerts and warnings. Every lunch table conversations is on the topic of what can the Indian Government do and how Pakistan is playing a double game.

Though most of us have not experienced the trauma personally being there @ the Taj or Oberoi or CST station, it has affected us completely. For me, it has been a major change in thought process -- my mind always clouded with fear and suspicion.

It was friday afternoon, we were sitting at the lunch table watching one of the news channels in the cafeteria. The usual conversations began and here my team mate told me that there is a threat warning sent for Bangalore. He continued telling us about why he cancelled all his weekend plans and wanted to stay safe at home. Dec 6th - the Babri Masjid day, seemed to be an excuse enough for another attack. I had my usual plans of a packed saturday with finishing some pending works followed by csim class and then go back home around 7:30 in the night. But after hearing to him, I was little scared and started thinking twice about my plans. At the end of our discussion, I was completely gotten to believing that it was unsafe to be out of home over the weekend though I knew I was falling prey to exactly what the terrorists want - create panic and confusion in the minds of people. Finally one of my colleagues managed to pep me up to gather some courage and move on with life.

This was not the only incident -- remember a few days ago, there was a high security alert in many airports in the country following some email threat? Around the same night was when 2 of my dear ones were supposed to land in Mumbai. I was so scared, din't know what to do. I din't want to talk about it at home and end up scaring others. That night, I hardly slept in peace.

Of-late I dream of people shooting around, sudden confusion created in the city, people running around to save their lives. It might sound exagerrated, this is exactly what I have been going thru in the last few days. I wonder what it would be like for those people who have been there.

Every other place has become unsafe. How can someone be at peace when survival itself is at stake?

The mumbai attack has been a big wake up call for all of us to identify and fix the major security loop holes and the basic issue of corruption. As a citizen, I don't have much clue of what to do? All I do today is to watch the tv and keep myself updated. That's really the sad state ...

What's wrong with me?

For a change this weekend I feel I have all the time in the world and don't know what to do. I am wondering what's wrong with me. So, I decided to turn back and see what I did over the last one week.

Monday - Oh man!! seems long time ago.. Lemme recollect. It started with the usual Monday morning meetings. I had come back to office with all energy gained from the Wayanad trip and after hearing some inspiring session on 'Power of unreasonable people'. I was all charged up to take lot of work. Then interviewed some guy, it did not go all that well :-(. Then caught up on the Flex trainings.

Tuesday - The power and enthu still seem to be there in me. I was all set to go complete my work at office. After long time, I did some code changes and felt good about it though it was very minor.

Wednesday - Ahaa, there comes it. It was the day of saraswati pooja and did some tasty tashty chakara pongal, vadai and sundal. By the time we had brkie I was feeling too lazy to go to office. Took some sundal to office. And somehow managed to come home by 7 :-)

Thursday - Holiday, woohoooo. Got up and wore some new clothes. After lunch, me and pv set to accomplish our 5 month dream of ordering a book shelf :). Met our family furniture guy (like family doctor u see) and designed our shelf. When we heard his estimates, we decided to cut the frills in our design, made it plain and simple. That is our achievement of the month, rather months :-) Then did some roaming around for buying furniture for ACT. Then we went to Pinx for some dhaba chai and mini samosa. We then went to Prasidhi to do some diwali purchase and the day ended with superb tasty food at Oye Amristar.

Friday - It was a long day at work. One more interview to take. I wanted to come home early and go for a round of puchka but was getting late at office. By the time I came home I had a bad headache. Then some calls from office to fix some issue :( Bad day it was.

Saturday - Most of my excitement died down when I got a message that the CSIM class was canceled. Anyways, it gave me time to be at home and we all watched Sivaji. Then another round of diwali purchase :)

Sunday - Lazy lazy day. Did nothing at all. Finally got so irritated with myself, that we went out for a round of puchka. And now here writing this post. Waiting to goto office and do some work tomorrow.

Waiting to goto office? What's wrong with me?? Nothing, that's what happens when there are too many lean weeks :)